Salutations from the (oftentimes) Dark Side of my mind. This blog exists as a forum for mutual exchanges of ideas/premises/general discussion of all things science fiction, comic related, fantasy oriented and the continuous baffling attempts of Hollywood to ruin every last memory from our collective childhood(see: remake of any decent TV series/movies from 1960-onward).

You may have read my review of X-Men 3 or George Lucas' Judas-like turn on his fandom on www.lietv.com. If not, you may wish to check those out first so that you'll have an idea of where I stand. As a life-long fan of the above mentioned genres, I pretty much take a hard-core demand on accountability for all studios/prodcos/directors/writers and the product they cater to us. A little about myself, before we continue:

Name: Lance
Height: 5'5"
Disposition: Generally and genuinely a nice guy, until pissed off. Ask ANYONE who's been my enemy--they don't stay that way for long, and end up really, really f****** sorry(I don't do the physical thing...I work on the MIND and f*** with someone until they end up broken).
Powers and Weapons: Seriously keen intellect, Batman-level. Fiercely loyal to friends. Damn good writer--I have rewritten 120-page scripts literally overnight! Has been known to get into fights defending women he doesn't know from absolute jerks, yet strangely has the power to repel any woman he is attracted to. Catholic and unafraid to admit it to the secular world, yet still believes in a woman's right to choose. Loves Justice League and Avengers(old-school, both) yet just doesn't get Legion of Super-Heroes(what do you mean, there was never a Superboy?!?)

Back to the Point: The title of this post is, and for the upcoming future, will continue to be "Another perspective on...", wherein we can discuss anything from the above genres, or I may just go off on a tangent of immense proportions and simply ask you all to join in however you feel. To begin with, a brief mention of the proper usage of online petitions.

There are several going on at the moment, most notably one being registered against George Lucas and his desire to bring inferior, flaccid versions of his beloved original "Star Wars" trilogy to DVD this coming September. The best and most closely organized so far(that I've seen) is on www.originaltrilogy.com. There are several others such as the petition to get hack director Uwe Boll to give up directing, or at least to stop directing video game-to-movie adaptations
(http://www.petitiononline.com/rrh53888/petition.html). There is a severe difference between the two petitions, and how effective they might turn out to be...

The Star Wars one is being done on a major, well-known and very popular website, originaltrilogy.com. There is a thread running where folks are continually updating contact information for major newspapers, film reviewers, film preservationists and others(I am one of the folks posting, under the screen name DarthLance. I know...truly original, no?). One person posting suggested the webmaster give a specific date on which everyone on the site and all interested parties mail out their letters of protest(either e-mail or snail) to Lucasfilm Ltd. to let Georgie-boy know how disillusioned/disappointed his fans have become. This is actually a masterstroke, and COULD have a significant impact on how Lucas chooses to release the DVD. However, I predict this will ultimately be unsuccessful unless all such fans hit Lucasfilm where it hurts the most--the pocketbook--by NOT buying even ONE DVD set of the trilogy either on its release date or anytime thereafter. That is truly putting the hammer to the nail, and would drive home the point once and for all that you can't screw with the love of your fans and get away with it.

Again, this might too be a self-defeating offensive(gosh, it's sort of like listening to the Watcher spew on about possible alternate realities, isn't it?). The reason: Lucas could turn right around, given his successful history on sales of the "remastered, special edition" OT DVD sets and say "See? The fans didn't really want the ORIGINAL original trilogy all along...they LIKE my remasters!" We all know of course this would be 110% horse patties, but that's one possibility. This could also set back the release of an actually restored version of the OT on SW's 30th anniversary, which many have speculated is something Lucas is more than likely up to anyway. He does like siphoning money from his fan base on a regular basis, after all. Still, my gut goes with the double-pronged attack anyway: send the letters, don't buy the trilogy when released.

As for the Uwe Boll issue...yes, he's a hack. He's one of the worst directors of all time, possibly making Ed Wood look almost Tarentino-esque in cinematic style and brilliance. Still, he WON'T retire from any type of filmmaking, no matter how many people sign petitions(and there are A LOT...check out the above-mentioned site). The reasons are simple: first, he makes a LOT of money to direct. If YOU or I were in his position, we'd be spitting on the fans' petition while simultaneously signing our paycheck at the bank. Second: no matter what crap he's doing, he still GETS HIRED because he works swiftly on churning out the crapola the studios spew at us with a vengeance. If you can work fast on a deadline in h'wood, you're ALWAYS going to get hired.

Unless...

You stop sending petitions to Uwe and send them directly to any and every studio he has been involved with, is currently involved with, and WILL BE involved with(Variety routinely delivers all news on upcoming studio projects of every type, including horror and science fiction). Make a deal with any petition sites: you'll sign, but it is their responsibility, on a given date, to send petitions out to all such studios. To more fully get the point across, ANYONE who signs the petitions must also mail out HARD COPIES of such via SNAIL MAIL to all studios associated with U.B. on said date, their own names circled where they signed, so the studios know that REAL PEOPLE are concerned about the future state of projects based on the video games they know and love. E-mails can be deleted and ignored. It's pretty damn impossible to ignore a mail room stacked to the rafters with individual mails all saying the same thing from 10,000 angry potential customers. Finally, DON'T GO to the movies based on the games you love!! Yes, there is the curiosity factor(sometimes morbid curiosity), or of course the desire for those of us dateless wonders(yo!) to see a hot chick kicking ass on the screen. But to paraphrase Spock, "The needs of the filmgoer outweigh the needs of the studio".

HOLLYWOOD CANNOT DELIVER BULLSHIT TO YOUR DOORSTEP IF YOU DON'T ALLOW IT!!!!!

If the film studios realize that Uwe Boll is an unmarketable director, he will not be hired again. The director of "Heaven's Gate" never worked in Hollywood again, because he cost his studio a bundle, and back then it was only $40million! If the people demand en masse that studios don't hire Uwe to butcher their beloved games, then he will be booted straight out of La-La Land! But the desired results will never come to pass unless webmasters fully organize their forces and get the job done right...or until someone suggests it.

I've done my part. It's up to you now, my friends.

Any and all comments welcome.


--Lance
(P.S.: For the curious among you, the above photo is of a beautiful young lady I am friends with, the overlay being used to illustrate the ethereal nature between what is real and not, in my opinion an apt allusion to discussions for this blog.)